The Sri Lankan Footballer is an urban myth.

Sri Lankans play cricket. As he walks onto a soccer-field in Liverpool a crowd of Bosnians boo him and tell him: 'it's not cricket'.

The closest thing to a prominent South-Asian footballer is Vikash Dhorasoo and even he came from the French colony Mauritius.

The Sri Lankan Footballer's cousins speak highly of him, but the name of his so-called club in Germany is not remembered.

The Sri Lankan Footballer is not strong enough.

The Sri Lankan Footballer is not Sri Lankan, he's Brazilian or Australian or African.

The Sri Lankan Footballer's name is never spelt correctly. It's Aluhan, it's Alien, it's Anil, it's Ahilon, it's never Ahilan.

The Sri Lankan Footballer doesn't have football in his blood.

The Sri Lankan Footballer's parents don't watch him play.

The Sri Lankan Footballer has never received a response from the Sri Lankan Football Association, some say it's because he is Tamil.

The Sri Lankan Footballer get's told he's pretty good for a curry.

The Sri Lankan Footballer.